Captain Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) has always been the loudest voice for victims on Law & Order:

Special Victims Unit. However, long before Benson advocated for survivors in the courtroom, Benson struggled to connect with a special victim very close to her heart.

Watch Law & Order: Special Victims Unit Thursdays at 9/8c on NBC and next day on Peacock.

Benson doesn’t love talking about her family, and the reason is simple: She was conceived after her mother, Serena Benson (Elizabeth Ashley), was sexually assaulted. Serena was never the same following the incident, abusing Benson as a child out of resentment. Benson channeled the pain of her upbringing into settling the karmic score, later becoming the most ferocious detective the SVU has ever had. Every case Benson takes on is a reminder of why she joined the SVU in the first place: to give victims the support her mother never had. But what happened to Benson’s mother, and why does Benson seem so emotional any time she comes up?

Serena Benson returned to the narrative on SVU‘s March 20 episode after Benson visited her mother’s gravesite with a stirring update. Read on to learn more:

Serena Benson was a professor whose life was forever changed after she was sexually assaulted. Recovering from the incident became a challenge after Serena found herself pregnant with Benson, setting the tone for an emotionally fraught relationship. Serena made only one SVU appearance in the 1999 pilot (“Payback”) when she expressed annoyance with her daughter accepting a post at that specific unit in the NYPD. Throughout the years, however, Benson has shed light on the emotionally turbulent childhood that inspired her to join the SVU.

During Benson’s younger years, Serena struggled with alcoholism and mental health, often taking out her frustrations on Benson. Serena’s behavior escalated over time; Benson once revealed that she and her mother went to blows during one particular bad drunken incident. Serena viewed her daughter as a constant reminder of her trauma, driving a wedge in their relationship. After Benson joined the SVU, Serena continued to hold Benson at arms length.

How did Benson’s mother die on SVU?

Benson’s relationship with her mother stayed strained as she made strides on the squad. But after Serena’s sudden death in SVU Season 2, Episode 8 (“Taken”), Benson lost any chance to make it right with her.

After leaving a bar inebriated, Benson’s mother died after taking a fatal fall down the stairs. Benson was deeply devastated by her mother’s death, refusing to visit her mother’s gravesite for years.

Benson has worked hard to forgive her mother

Benson struggled to grieve her mother, waiting until Season 11 to visit Serena’s grave after being moved by a case that struck a little too close to home. Benson has made significant strides since; not only is she now a mother, she attends regular therapy sessions to heal the wounds her childhood and career have caused.