Just in: Disney CEO Publicly Admits Wokeness, ‘Yes We’re Woke, There’s No Denying in It’
As the classic Disney tune goes, “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.” But in an unprecedented move, Disney CEO has publicly confirmed that the dreams coming true at Disney are increasingly Woke ones. Speaking from a press conference at Cinderella’s Castle, the CEO made the startling admission.
“Yes, we’re Woke,” said the CEO in an almost cheerful manner, “There’s no denying it. The Fairy Godmother in our parks now offers Gender-Neutral transformations, Snow White has begun hosting seminars on toxic masculinity, and Captain Hook – well, he’s just called ‘Hook’ now. He’s no longer a captain; we thought that was too hierarchical.”
The admission came after months of speculation following a wave of progressively ‘woke’ changes. Remember when Ariel’s undersea struggles were just about wanting to be human? Well, no more. Her struggles are now a biting critique of single-use plastics and ocean pollution.
Likewise, Belle of “Beauty and the Beast” fame is no longer merely a bookish villager who falls in love with a Beast. Instead, she is now an advocate for Animal Rights and interspecies understanding.
Mulan? Oh, she’s not just disguising herself as a man to save her father. No, she’s tackling complex gender issues and teaching kids about the fluidity of gender roles.
“But really,” the CEO continued, “our most significant achievement is making the Mad Hatter… well, not so mad. We’ve partnered with several mental health organizations to help the Hatter navigate his way to emotional well-being. We feel this promotes a healthy attitude towards mental health.”
It seems no Disney character is safe from this ‘Woke’ revolution. Even our beloved Mickey Mouse has swapped his iconic red shorts for a pair of ethically sourced, organic cotton pants. And don’t get us started on the tea-serving controversy at the Boston Tea Party ride at the American Pavilion.
In response to this shocking admission, reaction on social media has been mixed. Traditional Disney fans were aghast, with many pledging to toss their vintage Disney VHS collections and planning to picket outside Disneyland with signs reading, “Bring back the original Dumbo!”
However, others praised the move, lauding the company for its forward-thinking and progressive ethos. “Disney is leading the way,” said one Twitter user, “My kids now learn about climate change from Moana and civic responsibility from Zootopia.”
The CEO ended the conference with a shocking announcement: “Next up? We’re planning a ‘Woke’ reboot of ‘Sleeping Beauty.’ In our version, it’s not just Prince Charming’s kiss that awakens Aurora, but the realization of the systematic gender biases in society.”
As the conference ended, one thing became clear: Disney is riding the magic carpet of Wokeness. How this will affect the magic kingdom’s revenues remains to be seen. But, as Cinderella herself might put it, they’re certainly doing it bibbidi-bobbidi-style. If Disney’s fairy tale endings are anything to go by, this tale of ‘Wokeness’ might just end with “and they woked happily ever after.”
News
Taylor Swift is officially backing Kamala Harris in the 2024 presidential race. The pop star made the announcement moments after Harris’ debate with her opponent, former president Donald Trump.
Taylor Swift Endorses Kamala Harris After Presidential Debate, Proudly Signs Note ‘Childless Cat Lady’ Taylor Swift is officially backing Kamala Harris in the 2024 presidential race. The artist made the announcement moments after Harris wrapped her first debate with her opponent, former president Donald Trump….
BREAKING: On the heels of Tuesday night’s ABC News Presidential Debate, Taylor Swift announced on Instagram that she is supporting Vice Pres. Kamala Harris for president. Swift signed her post with her name and “Childless Cat Lady.”
Taylor Swift endorses Kamala Harris for president On the heels of Tuesday night’s presidential debate, Taylor Swift announced she is supporting Vice President Kamala Harris for president. “Like many of you, I watched the debate tonight. If you haven’t already,…
Singer Taylor Swift has endorsed Democratic Vice President Kamala Harris late on Tuesday after the presidential debate between Harris and Republican former President Donald Trump. MORE
Taylor Swift Says She Will Vote for Kamala Harris Singer Taylor Swift has endorsed Democratic Vice President Kamala Harris late on Tuesday after the presidential debate between Harris and Republican former President Donald Trump. Swift made the endorsement in a…
HEAD-SCRATCHER: Elon Musk appeared to troll Taylor Swift with a strange response after the pop star endorsed Vice President Harris and signed her post with “Taylor Swift, Childless Cat Lady
Elon Musk needles Taylor Swift after Harris endorsement: ‘I will give you a child and guard your cats’ Billionaire Elon Musk poked fun at pop star Taylor Swift in a post on X, a social media platform that he owns, on Wednesday….
‘BIG DEAL’: Taylor Swift’s viral endorsement of Vice President Harris might drive more young voters to the polls in November, but how could it actually affect the outcome of the election? Lawmakers weigh in
What the Taylor Swift endorsement of Kamala Harris means for the November election Democrats believe Taylor Swift’s recent endorsement of Vice President Kamala Harris could encourage more young voters to turn out in November, but recent polling indicates the pop star’s support…
NBC mulls over canceling ‘woke’ SNL, citing a perceived lack of humor in recent years
Breaking: NBC Is Considering Cancelling “Woke” SNL, “The Show Hasn’t Been Funny in Years” In a move that has sent ripples through the entertainment industry, NBC is reportedly considering canceling its long-running sketch comedy show, “Saturday Night Live” (SNL). Sources…
End of content
No more pages to load