Jerry Seinfeld Cuts Ties with ABC: “Why Stay On a Sinking Ship?”

Jerry Seinfeld has reportedly cut all ties with ABC after witnessing what he calls “The most shameful debate in US history.”

“I’m never working there again,” said the whiny little douchebag, “They have no respect for the news. How dare they fact-check Trump live not Kamala? How is that fair?”

We asked ALLOD Politicalisticator Tara Newhole what she thought and she landed squarely on the side of fictional Jerry Seinfeld:

“If the story were true, then Jerry would be in the right. ABC would be a company of losers who lost all credibility for having moderators willing to do what Jake Tapper wasn’t. Since that’s not exactly accurate, or even a little bit close to reality, we’d have to side with ABC.”

ABC’s VP of Production and Question Answering, Joe Barron, said he concurs with Newhole. “We’d be disgusted with us, too, if the nutbag conspiracies and excuses for their cult leader were real. Thankfully, there are 37 million delusional Americans, so we have an actual reason to say ‘Don’t blame all of us’ when people snicker at us abroad.”

It sounds a lot like he was refusing to answer to this reporter, patriots, but since none of this happened on this plane of existence, I’m gonna be the bigger man and let it go.