Nick Cannon’s new interview shows that he has completely rewritten the story of his beef with Eminem. In five minutes he calls Eminem a “little bitch” and a GOAT and doesn’t feel the contradiction.

This fascinating conversation happened on The Bootleg Kev Podcast, a perfect place for such sentiment.

Bootleg Kev, who rarely says anything openly against Eminem but doesn’t miss a chance t pay him a backhanded compliment or diminish him in some way, asked Nick Cannon about his crusade against Eminem more in the context of drawing the wrath of “cargo shorts wearing and Mount Dew drinking Eminem fans”. Obviously, Cannon has no regrets about beefing with Eminem and thinks that was a blast.

He also thinks that bringing his Wild N’ Out boys into the beef only did them good: I thought that was amazing! Your attention is my currency baby, keep it going. All those guys are a lot more popular now than they were before they started it. That was just for the media. I was just trying to get people to watch Wild N’ Out. We shot several videos for it on the set of Wild N’ Out, with the logos, it was all in!

Then the host asked about the MGK and Eminem beef, stating that in his opinion MGK had won. Cannon avoided answering a question about MGK shifting attention to his own saga and declaring his win over Eminem: I think I won the battle. If somebody picks a fight but does not show up to the fight…I was the one who was responding. I responded to him, he started talking shit first! He was on Fat Joe’s record.

I love Eminem, he started fu*king with me and then ran off like a little bitch! But he started making records about me! At the same time, Cannon was not even able to remember what exactly Eminem said on that joint with Fat Joe: I don’t know! Something. Like, a lot of shit! And I went on like, “Why are you fu*king with me?”. It was some shit he said, like, he’s gonna cut my di*k off or some weird shit like that.

So I was like, let’s have some fun. And I had a great fu*king time. I got Suge on the record, that was lit! It was all for sport. I love Em. It looks like an appropriate time for a quick revision. On “Lord Above” from Fat Joe’s 2019 “Family Ties” album, Eminem raps:

I know me and Mariah didn’t end on a high note But that other dude’s whipped, that pu*sy got him neutered Tried to tell him this chick’s a nutjob ‘fore he got his jewels clipped Almost got my caboose kicked Fool, quit, you not gon’ do shit I let her chop my b*lls off too ‘fore I lost to you, Nick.

As you can see, Nick has a rather vague recollection of what exactly offended him so much that he had to start the whole beef in three chapters. Maybe, it is because he started it not because he was offended but because he saw an opportunity for self-promotion.

Cannon doesn’t even hide it anymore, saying that he’s made a lot of money off this situation. Meanwhile, hip hop artists felt a second-hand embarrassment watching Cannon’s erratic attempts to poke at Eminem hard enough so he would notice Nick’s crusade.

Even Joe Budden, who is not an Eminem fan at all, was dismissive about Cannon’s efforts. Not only hip hop culture was amazed by this car crash, but the Saturday Night Live show also made a skit mocking Nick Cannon’s campaign.

All of it has not registered in Nick’s mind as you will see later. Or so he wants us to think.

But did Cannon win the battle? Nick explodes:

Absolutely!!! He didn’t respond! I mean, he responded with a tweet. And it became a narrative. I smashed him over the head! People were like, “Oh, shit, this shit is hot!”.

Absolutely! I smashed him over the head. Then I came again and that’s when I brought The Black Spot and all the battle rappers. And people like, “Now you guys are bullying him!” That was the thing. That’s what they said, they said we were bullying him. Like, “It’s three on one!” The third time, I started bringing race into it. Now, that’s why I went too far. I did too much, I should’ve stopped at the second record. But we all know Eminem is the GOAT. He definitely a Top 5. Drake is coming for the spot though.

Because it’s all about numbers! Drake is a better songmaker than the majority of the industry. If we’re talking about bar for bar punchline and lyricism, Imma go with Drake. Eminem is the king of flow. Eminem is a great storyteller, might be one of my favourite storytellers in hip hop. I’ve got him, [Ice] Cube, Biggie, Slick Rick. Tupac as well. And storytelling for me is probably the most difficult part of hip hop.

But if we’re going for guys who can tell a fu*king story, Eminem is probably number one because ain’t nobody topping “Stan”, ain’t nobody topping “Lose Yourself”. But if we are going bar for bar… Eminem has never said nothing bar-wise that blew my mind. [Mockingly] “Mom’s spaghetti”… Nick Cannon lives in his own world, that’s for sure.

His vision of what went down between him and Eminem is so far off reality that it is astonishing but it doesn’t stop Nick from finding pride in what he did. He still believes that his attempt at dissing Eminem was a valiant effort and Eminem paid attention to the wild circus Nick organised: I think MGK made the same mistake that I made.

We were probably too excited and overzealous that we got to battle with the GOAT. We got to get in the ring with one of the best to ever do it. I was so excited.

I was like, oh shit, he’s paying attention! Let’s go! And we’ve got so much attention as Wild n’ Out. Because the whole goal was to get attention. And the attention he got. So Nick Cannon won’t stop talking about Eminem and his one-sided beef with him until that helps him stay relevant and noticed.

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