Nicole Kidman, 57, reveals she wakes up ‘crying and gasping’ over her mortality — and Keith Urban marriage

The 57-year-old actress opened up in an interview with GQ published Monday about how she’s “open to emotions” and feels things deeper now more than ever.

“Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting you,” she said. “And [the] loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human.”

The “Big Little Lies” star continued, “And it hits you as you get older how … it’s a wake-up-at-3-a.m.-crying-and-gasping kind of thing. If you’re in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I’m in it. Fully in it.”

Nicole Kidman for GQ. Felix Cooper

Kidman shared more about her outlook on mortality while reflecting on her dad Antony Kidman’s death in 2014.

“There’s the mortality aspect of life which, when you start to deal with that, it’s very heavy,” she explained. “When you’re raising children you’re like, ‘I gotta stay here. I wanna see all of this. It’s devastating and beautiful and extraordinary.’”

Nicole Kidman with her husband Keith Urban at the Concert For Carolina Benefit Concert on October 26. Getty Images for Concert For Carolina

Nicole Kidman at the 2024 Governors Awards. John Salangsang/Shutterstock

Kidman is newly grieving the death of her mom, Janelle Ann Kidman, who passed away at age 84 in September.

The Oscar winner had to leave the Venice Film Festival early because of the family tragedy. Kidman was there to accept the Volpi Cup award for Best Actress for her role in her new film “Babygirl.”

Nicole Kidman with her mom, Janelle, at the American Film Institute Awards in 2004. ASSOCIATED PRESS

Janelle and Nicole kidman at the 61st Annual Golden Globe Awards in 2004. Getty Images

Halina Reijn, the director of the film, accepted the award on Kidman’s behalf and read Kidman’s statement about her mom’s death.

“Today, I arrived in Venice to find out shortly after that my beautiful, brave mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, has just passed,” the statement said. “I’m in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her. She shaped me, she guided me, and she made me.”

Nicole Kidman with her mom at the 2004 Golden Globes. ASSOCIATED PRESS

“I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina,” the statement continued. “The collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken.”

Kidman later opened up about losing her mom at the Los Angeles premiere of her show “Lioness” in October.

Nicole Kidman with mom Janelle and niece Lucia Hawley at the 2018 AACTA Awards. Getty Images

“I wish my mama was here,” she told the Hollywood Reporter on the red carpet. “That’d be the one thing I’d say. Everything is great with work but I wish my mama was here.”

Kidman herself is the proud mom of four kids. She shares daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith Margaret, 13, with husband Keith Urban, and daughter Bella, 31, and son Connor, 29, with her ex-husband Tom Cruise.