Collective bargaining agreements for the WNBA took an unexpected turn as players demanded to be paid what they are actually worth and now owe the NBA $400 million.

Owners were shocked and delighted by the players’ demand, immediately accepting and handing over a sheet showing the players’ actual worth to be negative four hundred million dollars.

“We may have made a mistake here,” said WNBA player Angel Reese. “Can we go back to having a bunch of the guys’ money? It turns out I really like not getting paid what I’m worth and taking free money from a man. Please?”

According to sources, the owners responded that, as always, there are no take-backs. “I am so, so happy to finally be able to pay these players what they are really worth,” said team owner John Pavlovitz. “Now, every month I can just hand over their checks to one of the NBA players who spent the last twenty years paying their salaries. After all the whining I’ve put up with about having to fly coach and sleep in a Holiday Inn, I am thrilled for my players to get to make what they have actually earned. Better gas up those Subarus, ladies!”

At publishing time, the owners had graciously offered an alternative option where player salaries could all go to the one person who gets people to watch the WNBA, Caitlin Clark.