The song’s co-writer Ester Dean has since apologized for the lyrics which she says “didn’t age well.”

Keri Hilson at Gold Room in 2019 and Beyoncé performing on the Renaissance tour in 2023.Credit: Prince Williams/Wireimage; Kevin Mazur/WireImage

Keri Hilson is sharing her real feelings about her infamous ​​Beyoncé diss track that sparked controversy in 2009.

During a Wednesday visit to The Breakfast Club, the singer got candid about what led her to release the “Turnin’ Me On” remix that many interpreted as taking shots at Queen Bey. As it turns out, Hilson herself wasn’t a fan of the “shady” lyrics that eventually led to a wave of her backlash.

“It’s a regret,” Hilson said of the hit track. “But not in the way people would think because that’s a song I actually didn’t write. Those are not my words.”

Hilson then divulged how the song came to be: at that point in her career, she was building up to the release of her debut album, In a Perfect World, while signed to Interscope Records under producers Polow da Don and Timbaland. According to Hilson, Polow was adamant about getting a remix recorded, leading her to take days off from touring with Lil Wayne to return to the studio and pen a new verse.

Instead, she was shocked to discover that Polow had lyrics from another writer already prepared.

Polow Da Don and Keri Hilson in 2016.Paras Griffin/Getty

“I come into the studio and he plays me this verse,” she recalled. “Automatically, I was like, ‘I’m not saying that.’ That was my position.'”

The verse in question included the lines, “Your vision cloudy if you think that you’re the best / You can dance, she can sing, but she need to move it to the left, left /  She need to go have some babies. She needs to sit down, she fake / I ain’t turning it off, I’m stay turning it on. Go ‘head and tell these folks how long I’ve been writing your songs.”

Looking back on her first listen, Hilson admitted that while she understood the lyrics as “shady,” she didn’t know who they were calling out. Still, she was opposed.

“I’m an athlete but I’m a finesse player. I’m not a nasty player, I’m not a dirty player. I don’t even look at things like that,” she explained. “But we disagree there Polow and I. Because he believes in kind of the shock jock mentality. He believes in playing dirty and I don’t.”

Hilson said she rejected the verse, and went back to writing her own, but was eventually pushed into recording the remix anyway.

“I tried to fight him on it and I began writing my own but he… It was quite forceful,” she said of Polow. “In an executive-artist way. Involving others and kind of threatening my career, in a real sense.”

She explained, “My album wasn’t out yet, so it was like, ‘You’re not coming out if you don’t do this.’ The mistake that I made was not continuing to fight, but I was in tears. I was crying. I was adamant that I did not wanna do that.”

Hilson said she was ultimately told that if she recorded the verse she was given, she could also write her own, and a final decision would be made once the two versions were compared.

Keri Hilson during 2024 ONE MusicFest.Aaron J. Thornton/Getty

“I was super young. I felt I had no power, I felt I had no choice,” she said. Though she did pen and record her own verse, the original version of the remix leaked days later. Hilson claimed that the leak was “all part of” Polow’s plan: “That was what he wanted to happen.”

In the aftermath, Hilson was met with a wave of backlash as critics and fans speculated about the song’s true meaning, assuming she was taking shots at several stars, including Beyoncé and Ciara.

“That was that,” Hilson said of the furious response. “And I protected him. I protected the girl that wrote it, who went on to become famous. I protected everyone in the story so I have to eat that and I’m still eating it to this day. It’s like I’ve worn the scarlet letter.”

Following Hilson’s appearance on the radio show, singer and Pitch Perfect alum Ester Dean came forward as a co-writer of the remix, commenting, “It was a hit!,” on Instagram. Hours later, she offered a longer statement, including an apology for the lyrics.

“I submitted a lot of verses for that remix. One got picked, and it was co-written with Keri,” Dean wrote on Instagram. “Looking back, it was childish and didn’t age well. I see how it hurt people, especially women, and I take full accountability. I’m sorry for my part in it. Growth is real, and so is this apology.”

Entertainment Weekly has reached out to representatives for Interscope Records and Timbaland for comment.

As for Hilson, she noted that she should have “outed” those involved in the song earlier, but stayed silent out of fear.

“I just didn’t want to step into shit anymore. I was shook. I was scared,” she said, then clarified that the fear had nothing to do with Beyoncé herself. “Not of her — I love her. I think she’s incredible. She’s one of the greatest artists of all time. I’m a fan, have always been. That’s never been in question for me. But now it’s a name I can’t say.”